Aloha Nation and welcome back to the #PhoenixNation blog, in this instalment we’re going to switch gears from our usual content and turn the ‘floor’ over to #PhoenixEvolutionRelationshipCoaching which I am also the interim Director of.
Let me pre-frame this post by being completely open and honest about the fact that I’m not in a relationship at present, by choice. This is I’m still healing from the break-up with Miss Shannon at the start of May, the last thing to do in such a situation is to jump into another relationship to get over the previous one. I’ve never been one for rebounds, or affairs for that matter but that is a story for another time.
Being single there are obviously some aspects of a relationship I miss, however very rarely do rebounds work and I’d rather not hurt someone as I’ve been hurt recently. As such in the Months since Miss Shannon and I broke-up I’ve had a few eye-opening conversations with other friends who are in long-term relationships and these conversations have prompted this blog. Some notable comments have been:
‘Trust me, you’re better off single’
‘It’s more trouble than it’s worth’
‘You don’t know how good you have it, she’s doing my head in’
I’d like to think that if I was in a similar place that I would either take steps to change it, or at the very least talk to my significant other. This was one of the lessons I learnt when my then-wife became involved with one of our then-mutual friends Michael. Sometimes her actions during the course of 2010 and on into 2012 sting, however as my great Mentor Tony Robbins would remind me;
“You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with” – Jim Rohn (Author, Coach & Motivational Speaker)
With that in mind, and looking at her immediate peer group which includes a borderline alcoholic and a serial cheater, I can honestly say that I understand she never really had any other option that to take the action she took. As much as I’d like to I cannot save everyone and sometimes it’s best to walk away, looking back this was the best thing that ever happened to me.
So, if you read the earlier statements and find yourself agreeing with them I’d suggest that you take some time to sit down and figure out what exactly it is that you want and if your partner can be that to you. If the answer is a no then you have two options, neither of which are going to prove to be particularly pleasant.
The first is to be completely honest, sit down and tell your partner you’re unhappy and the reasons for this. This could prompt change, realign your relationship and strengthen the bond in the long term or alternatively it could be like throwing petrol on an open fire.
The second option is to say nothing, hide your feelings and be miserable for a very long time.
As painful as it is I know which of these I’d prefer.
So what is the lesson I wish to share as part of this blog? Simple, you should never ever stop communicating with your partner. Much like with physical intimacy, if communication is missing from your relationship this should be a HUGE warning sign and you should take action to rectify matters.
To underscore the lesson I’m going to close this instalment of the #PhoenixNation blog with a quote from a great man, one of my Mentors’ Mentors whom I sadly never got the chance to meet in person, the late, great Mr Jim Rohn;
“If you don’t like how things are, change them. You’re not a Tree” – Jim Rohn (Author, Coach & Motivational Speaker)
As always, Mahalo for joining me and until next time with much Aloha I remain
Jon
Jon G. Richelieu-Booth
Founder and Director of Coaching and Interim Director of Relationship Coaching
Phoenix Evolution
PHOENIX EVOLUTION 